Trulyrandom.net

Hi,

I recived this e-mail a couple of weeks ago and I thought it was so funny I share it with you guys.

1. Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious. – Charles Shackleford
To be fair? He can actually breathe underwater too.
 
2. Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win. – Doug Collins
Almost? What happens the other times?
 
3. I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. – Greg Norman
And all of his other parents he failed to mention.
 
4. Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen. – Jerry Coleman
He’s sick? I hope he can still pitch today.
 
5. The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. – Bob Varsha
Now thats impressive driving.
 
6. You can sum up this sport [boxing] in two words: You never know.?? – Lou Duva
Only two? OK, can’t argue with that.
 
7. When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, there’s no better feeling than to have that done. – Matt Stairs
Umm? what?
 
8. The NFL, like life, is full of idiots. -  Randy Cross
Truer words were never spoken.
 
8. He’s a guy who gets up at six o?clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. – Lou Deva again.
OK…?
 
10. You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that. – Murry Mexted
I guess in context it makes sense?
 
11. I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf. – Tug Mcgraw
After being asked if he preferred grass or Astroturf, the Tugger responded with this gem.

12. Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical. – Yogi Berra
And just because Yogi gave us so many, a bonus: If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
 
13. We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees. – Jason Kidd
So, you’re going to turn it all the way around and continue in the direction it was originally going? On second thought, maybe you should stay in college Jason.
 
14. He treats us like men, He lets us wear earrings. – Torrin Polk
That’s the most important thing a college football coach can offer his team. Earings.
 
15. Reporter: Did you visit the Parthenon while in Greece?
Shaquille O’Neill: I can?t really remember the names of all the clubs we went to.
At least you well represented the NBA while there, Shaq.

Do you know of any funny sports quotes, if so please drop us a comment below!

Here is a collection of funny,
interesting and memorable quotes from several sources that I hope
you’ll enjoy.

Any quote with the text ‘- Misquote‘ at the end of the phrase means that it was only
rumoured to have been said.

1. “Give me a place to stand and I shall move the world” – Archimedes.
2. “Trying is the first step towards failure” – Homer Simpson.
3. “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
4. “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing” – Unknown.
5. “I have great faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence” – Edgar Allan Poe.
6. “Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
   Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never
   predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid” – Jack Sparrow.
7. “Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver” – Nate D.
8. “Save water, drink beer” – kattygirl84.
9. “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?” – Lolliebum.
10. Horn broken, watch for finger” – Car Bumper Sticker.
11. “If only I was rich, instead of beautiful” – Car Bumper Sticker.
12. “24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day, coincidence?
    I think not” – Unknown.
13. TARDIS EXPRESS – when it absolutely, positively has to be there before you mailed it” – Unknown.
14. “Faith will move mountains” – Jon Marble.
15. “Find the silver lining in a mushroom cloud” - Unkown.
16. “The darkest hour is that before the dawn” – English Proverb.
17. “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” – William Congreve.
18. May the Lord welcome you in Heaven, at least an hour before the Devil knows you’re dead” – Irish Proverb.
19. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime” – Chinese Proverb.
20. Who has no children does not know what life is” – Proverb.
21. “Elementary, my dear Watson” - Holmes – Misquote: He never said this.
22. “Beam me up, Scotty” – James T. Kirk- Misquote - actual quote “Scotty, Beam me up”.
23. “God helps those who help themselves” – This is not a biblical quote but an ancient proverb that shows up
    in the literature of many cultures.
24. “Money is the root of all evil” - Misquote- In context: “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which
    while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”.
25. “Play it again, Sam” - Misquote - actual quote: “Play it Sam, for old times’ sake” – Ingrid Bergman (Casablanca).
26. “Luke, I am your father.” - Misquote - actual quote “No, I am your father.” – Darth Vader, Star Wars Episode V:
    The Empire Strikes Back.
27. “Do you feel lucky, punk?” – Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry - Misquote -
    actual quote “Well Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, PUNK?”.
28. “Houston, we have a problem” - Misquote - actual quote “Houston, we’ve had a problem”.
29. “Let them eat cake” - Misquote - actual quote “If they have no bread, let them eat cake”.
30. Well, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into” - Laurel & Hardy, USA.

Have you got a quote that you like and would like to share? Just post it into the guest box.

Sources:

1. Quote
   Geek
2. Wikiquote